There is a difference in standing with my toes to the lines, ready for combat on a stormy beach and being placed on a firm foundation of stone, placed there by Him. (Please click this link to read about Him calling me to keep my toes to the line!)
Where I once was a fiery warrior, learning to follow Him in obedience to not attack but to stand on the line awaiting His command. Shoulder to shoulder, interceding with the legion of His angels ready to fight. But learning to stand fast no matter what the storms brought in.
First, He tempered my desire to fight all things in His name or not, by teaching me how to obey and just to stand and wait for Him. When my flesh was unwilling, my heart cried out to Him… and toe by toe I stepped up to that line in the sand. When I felt lost all I had to do was remember “toes to the line” and I was back on track.
Since then, my world has changed… the scenery is new and my heart has changed. I am not standing alone on a stormy beach, I am secure in the kingdom. In this process of transformation, God has moved me from chaos and placed me on a foundation of stone.
Therein lies the difference. On the beach, when the storms came in I stood fast… settling in my stance, digging my feet into the sand, bracing myself for the fight about to descend.
Now my feet stand on rock, unshakable in its permanence. When the storms roll in, I can no longer stand firm. My feet don’t sink down into the sand. The storms are coming and I could be blown away.
Shaking under the weight of a recent attack, I knew I was going to fall. Standing and shaken, I was unable to brace myself against the winds of the enemy. All of the healing and growth were slipping away, the darkness was coming. I could not fall again. The darkness could not win.
This is MY spot! HE put me here. It is right, I know it is. And yet I was not able to stand and hold my place. Torn between my own fears and the attack at hand I was losing the battle. In order to hold on, I shifted my stance… and I dropped to my knees. I held onto the rock and cried out, “I will not be shaken”.
The storm stopped. And I was still there. Each time the darkness rose up, I met it with the same declaration… bowing down, making myself humble. Where God once taught me to stand, He was now teaching me to kneel. All the strength I lack, He has and pours out onto the willing.
Coming from a place of self-perceived strength, it has been liberating to not have to fight my own battles. I don’t have to anymore. Amen.